So, he hadn’t been that upset when his wife had taken the boy and run off. Good riddance.
Tag: blog
What Was it All For
He regarded her, keeping his expression closed off. It was hard to tell what he was thinking, now that his face was completely covered in bushy dark hair, and his bangs hung in his eyes.
Memories in the Moonlight
I will always love your mother, Dre. It’s not something that will ever go away.
Ships in A Bottle
Hugging herself tightly, she tried to breathe past the stiffness in her lungs. At least he was talking to her again. She wasn’t sure if she preferred the silent treatment, but she tried to believe that this would be better in the long term.
A Slow Decline Into Madness
She turned on the most plaintive look she could muster. Soon, she’d fill him on her plans, but right now she had to find a way to get the pounding out of her head. “I need to kill something, Jake. If I don’t, this stress is going to do me in.”
Nightmares
“Do you understand that you utterly, utterly broke me? I trusted you. I loved you, I poured my dreams and my fears into you.”
(Don’t) Kill Yourself?
Sometimes we can’t live with what we’ve done to others, or the pain that others have caused us. Sometimes the things that people do to us screw us up so bad that it’s pretty likely we’ll never be the same again. Sometimes, life just really, really sucks. So if life is this bad and things aren’t ever going to get better, what are the alternatives?
54
The hardest part lately has been the grief and pain that seems to come out of nowhere. Sometimes I won’t even know what the trigger is. But all of a sudden, I’ll just be drowning in it, with nowhere to turn and no idea what to do with out other than shut it out.
All the Pretty Little Horses
Dre considered. Not for the sexually gratifying possibilities, but because of the duck. That happy yellow duck with those gentle, cleansing hands. The duck didn’t have to do anything other than be, and the hands did everything else, washing away the blackness that there was no hope of dealing with alone.
One Step At A Time
He’s under forty. Women want his attention everywhere he goes. He has a lot going for him. And now, he’s found a place he loves, after years of wandering and wondering whether his life was adding anything to the world.
Deadly Mistake
Nothing made her angrier than insinuations that she had feelings for him. Since it was such a laughable idea. But instead of the blazing anger he had braced for, she seemed to scrutinize him.
Underestimated
Reluctantly, Ben tore his eyes from the doorway, then heaved himself off the ground and went to Lanie. Instantly, she was surrounded by the cloud of his stink. He reeked of alcohol and body odour. She wondered if the babies stunk now, too.
Everything Explodes
With each step toward the bunkhouse, she ached to go back, and stay with him for ever in the world of their dance. She felt unsure of her next move on this treacherous terrain that she’d been walking for so long.
A Secret Admirer
A blind, all-consuming, homicidal rage cast the bleakest of black shadows in his soul.
Week 2, Day 7
I tried to see if one of my friends still had their old apartment that I could potentially stay at, but that was a no go, so I guess I’m destined to stay here for a while. I was disappointed at first, but maybe this is my chance to do this right.
Broken Dreams
He was there for her after she went home. For a while, her old friends from church, including Lilah, were, “So sorry,” and wondered, “Why didn’t you just call me?”
53
I’m trying to be grateful. Not because I’m some wellspring of gratitude, but because things really could be worse.
Biggest Fear
Part of him wants to turn away, to cover himself. But for once, he feels no shame around her.
Marital Strife
He sighed, hating the way his mood tried to plummet. But he wouldn’t let it.
Nesting
The familiar sense of anger, confoundment, and betrayal rose up in him again, but he forced himself to focus on his goal.
A Gift for You
If only she could go up to that idealist, so much like her and yet so different, and scream in her face:
Memory Lane
At first, he felt nothing. It was peculiar. Usually, he felt so many things that he couldn’t number or contain them.
42
And I’m here. When I don’t believe that it will happen for me, I will believe that it will happen for you. When you don’t believe, I’ll believe enough for the both of us.
Week 1, Day 7
I’ve felt satisfied and fulfilled, and frustrated and scared. Today, I was hit with a powerful burst of longing for the life I used to have. Mostly, I’ve been tired. It’s been hard getting used to sleeping in the cold, and even though I’ve managed to stay quite warm under the blankets with layers of clothes, it’s never easy to poke my head up into the frosty air.
52
So, I spent my first night back in the city, and I feel more motivated than ever to change my situation. The only Airbnb that I could afford for the week is an absolute disaster.
Party Time
Not about to give up an opportunity to show off his excellent dance moves, he tugged on Lilah until she came with him.
One More Hit
Ben barely touched her anymore, looking at her like she was made of exquisite glass, with a mixture of awe and trepidation. The few times they’d had sex since he found out about the pregnancy, she was certain he was holding back tears.
The Meaning of Love
For weeks, she’d been tamping down her panic, telling herself that she wasn’t going to let anything ruin this for her. This was the one. This baby was the one she had prayed for when she was a child. And she wasn’t going to take a moment for granted.
An Unexpected Visitor
It was quiet now. Holding her breath, she peered around the corner, and despite her best efforts and preparation for the worst, she was so wired and strung out from all that had happened yesterday that she couldn’t help but scream when she saw the hulking mass of man on her couch. Without thinking any further, she fired.
First Sight
It was the one question she hadn’t dared to ask. Whether he had stayed with her because he felt he owed her some sort of debt of gratitude. She thought she couldn’t bare the answer to that one, even if her motives had originally stemmed from that guilt.