Every day from the Lord is a new beginning.
Impulsively, Ben reached out his arms and hugged him. It felt strange, to cross this barrier between rivals and friendship. At that moment, Jake was not the man that Lanie had chosen first. He was simply a man, like Ben, trying his best and hoping to leave his mark.
She looked up the ceiling. Why this, again? At this point, she should just tell him, but she’d been lying about it so long that it was habit.
Deciding not to be offended, he indulged her. Sometimes his words just needed to come out, and right now, he had things to say
She leaves him for the other side of the tiered circle of stone benches surrounding the big open fire pit. Thankfully, he doesn’t try to follow her. Mickey’s already roasting some marshmallows among the throng of people with long sticks.
No matter what happened to her, no matter what bruises she’d had to hide, she knew she would have him. Even if they had never spoken. Even if he was always at the front of the sanctuary, and she was always at the back, one of hundreds of faces that he didn’t even see through the stage lights and his closed eyes.
#strongwomen #writer #author #entrepreneur #blog #blogger #canadian #alberta #chapter #romance #drama #novel #asaviourspath #excerpt #writing “Is this real?” She groped … More
There were lines around her eyes that made it hard to look at her. Her usual mass of escaped curls hung limp and scraggly around her face, and he wondered at the last time she had taken a shower. Or done anything for herself, really. What would she be doing now, if she didn’t have him to look after?
But this last year had changed him. Cleansed him. He’d gotten what he’d been searching for by undertaking this little challenge.
Lanie’s wondered when her life would stop feeling so surreal. This wrinkle in time that she’d fallen into felt like a dream.
He is just so full of life, and apparently doesn’t hold grudges, despite his tirade against her earlier. Is this what he wanted all along? Just to work alongside her?
It had been eleven years, and he hadn’t really thought about seeing her again, and what he would say. But although there was so much and yet not enough to say, the least he could do was let her know how much he regretted what he’d done to her.
Cursing more savagely now, Lanie stepped toward him. This was not the meeting she’d envisioned between the two of them. And at the same time, now that it was happening, she felt an inexplicable dark mood settle over her.
“So why would I tell you that I’m in pain, then? You always act like it’s my fault. You’re never on my side.”
“No one is getting killed! Henry has never done anything to her. All he’s going to do is find her and serve her the papers. You know how much she values her privacy. She’d rather settle with me than go to court. This will be over quickly. And you girls will be set for life.”
She smiled at him, her blood beginning to settle she reached for the detached calmness of a mission. This was just like any other hit. And oh, how good it would feel to release this tension.
So, he hadn’t been that upset when his wife had taken the boy and run off. Good riddance.
He regarded her, keeping his expression closed off. It was hard to tell what he was thinking, now that his face was completely covered in bushy dark hair, and his bangs hung in his eyes.
I will always love your mother, Dre. It’s not something that will ever go away.
Hugging herself tightly, she tried to breathe past the stiffness in her lungs. At least he was talking to her again. She wasn’t sure if she preferred the silent treatment, but she tried to believe that this would be better in the long term.
She turned on the most plaintive look she could muster. Soon, she’d fill him on her plans, but right now she had to find a way to get the pounding out of her head. “I need to kill something, Jake. If I don’t, this stress is going to do me in.”
“Do you understand that you utterly, utterly broke me? I trusted you. I loved you, I poured my dreams and my fears into you.”
Sometimes we can’t live with what we’ve done to others, or the pain that others have caused us. Sometimes the things that people do to us screw us up so bad that it’s pretty likely we’ll never be the same again. Sometimes, life just really, really sucks. So if life is this bad and things aren’t ever going to get better, what are the alternatives?
The hardest part lately has been the grief and pain that seems to come out of nowhere. Sometimes I won’t even know what the trigger is. But all of a sudden, I’ll just be drowning in it, with nowhere to turn and no idea what to do with out other than shut it out.
Dre considered. Not for the sexually gratifying possibilities, but because of the duck. That happy yellow duck with those gentle, cleansing hands. The duck didn’t have to do anything other than be, and the hands did everything else, washing away the blackness that there was no hope of dealing with alone.
He’s under forty. Women want his attention everywhere he goes. He has a lot going for him. And now, he’s found a place he loves, after years of wandering and wondering whether his life was adding anything to the world.
Nothing made her angrier than insinuations that she had feelings for him. Since it was such a laughable idea. But instead of the blazing anger he had braced for, she seemed to scrutinize him.
Reluctantly, Ben tore his eyes from the doorway, then heaved himself off the ground and went to Lanie. Instantly, she was surrounded by the cloud of his stink. He reeked of alcohol and body odour. She wondered if the babies stunk now, too.
With each step toward the bunkhouse, she ached to go back, and stay with him for ever in the world of their dance. She felt unsure of her next move on this treacherous terrain that she’d been walking for so long.
A blind, all-consuming, homicidal rage cast the bleakest of black shadows in his soul.
I tried to see if one of my friends still had their old apartment that I could potentially stay at, but that was a no go, so I guess I’m destined to stay here for a while. I was disappointed at first, but maybe this is my chance to do this right.
Unfinished 