Your Move

who he was. He was caring, and nurturing. He was creative and patient, and liked to serve. He wasn’t the type who would intimidate anyone, much less be abusive. Much less hurt a woman. A child.

Yet…

Review: Stone by Sawyer Bennett

One part that really struck me like a lightning bolt was when Harlow expressed that if Stone can’t be there for her even when things get bad with her addiction, then he should leave. If he can’t have her back when she falls, then she’s not able to continue in the relationship. If you’re like me, you might also struggle with wondering whether your baggage will be a burden to someone you want to be in a romantic relationship with, and therefore whether you can ever have one. This part of the book really turned things on end for me.

Review: The Pecker Briefs by Sawyer Bennett

Okay, so what’s the book about? Two lawyers on opposite sides of an environmental protection case have to fight their growing attraction for each other. And I know what you’re thinking. Enemies-to-lovers, right? Except not even a little bit. They instantly decide to get into a relationship, and then must navigate what that means for their opposing cases.

If I Could Read Your Mind, Love

“Don’t think this means anything, you big oaf,” Lanie muttered from her chair as she huddled in the corner, eying the hulking mass of tubes and wires and man on the bed. Jake had practically thrown her in before and shut the door in her face before she had time to get worked up into a full panic attack.  Now, all the helplessness and despair of flying Ben home was coming back. Once again, she had the thought that she could breathe deeper for him, giving him the vital oxygen that would keep him alive.

Character Profile: Ben

Get to know Ben, one of the main characters in the Saviour’s Path series. Light spoiler warning. Although Ben is a charmer with a lot of integrity, he has a lot of personal challenges that make it difficult for him to always do what he knows is right. He’s tired hurting those he cares about and just wants to know how he’s supposed to live his best life. Sometimes, he ends up turning to the dark side in ways he never thought possible.

The Road Ahead

“It’s not a game to me, little one. It’s a very delicate balance. Nothing is unexpected to me, and I know exactly what I’m doing. I know what needs to happen for my plan to work out. But I’m still a dreamer, Lanie. I know every possible outcome and future that could have existed, and I dream of what I would do for my children if they listened to me sooner.” He sighed a deep sigh, and a contrastingly warm breeze rustled the trees around them, and she felt it even through the icy gale. “But, even that dream of Ben growing old with you wouldn’t lead to the best possible future. Of course, I know what you would do, as much as I wished you wouldn’t. I tried to tell you that. I knew the ripple effects would bring about my exact will.”

Daddy’s Home

Daddy will let go of Toto, who will fall with his face in the flowers. That’s when Andre will notice that the back of Toto’s blue shirt is dark like it’s got grape juice on it. The whole back of his shirt has changed colour. Mommy will start screaming in a way that Andre has never heard, no matter what Daddy does to her. The sound will make Andre want to run away as far as he can, and it makes his skin feel prickly.

Finally Getting Into It

For some reason, Lilah’s unquestioning  acceptance made  Lanie’s fists clenched. “You know what? None of this is supposed to be happening. From the minute of that explosion, my whole life has been turned upside down. When my grandfather died, I promised myself I would never, ever let a man control me ever again. I wanted to focus on helping children. That’s it. And I did that.”

The Graveyard

“Do you ever feel like you’ll wake up one day, and be in your real life? The simple, uncomplicated life?” Chelsea thinks every day about going back to New York when her mother is finally done grieving her dad and can face their home again.  But Emma Wallstead has a long memory when it comes to grief, and Chelsea has the feeling that she might have to make the trip alone, and lose her last remaining parent.

Who Says You Can’t Go Home?

“No!” she bellowed, as loud as her destroyed voice would allow. “For once in my life, save someone I care about! What good are you, if you just let us die without caring? Save him!”
She closes her eyes. She deserves it. She doesn’t have that moment of wanting to be saved. She’s been fighting for so long. Too long. The fighting is just too much. 

But…Ben.

The Real Tea

Thoughts shatter discordantly around her in an endless cacophony. She’s broken protocol. She shouldn’t have taken this on by herself. And now she’s going to die. Quite suddenly, quite unexpectedly unable to speak, unable to move because of the concrete weight of him. Two minutes ago, she’d just been looking for a snack. Now, the end.

She closes her eyes. She deserves it. She doesn’t have that moment of wanting to be saved. She’s been fighting for so long. Too long. The fighting is just too much. 

But…Ben.

Remembering The Why Part 4: Writing In Circles

I love those moments when something just clicks. I’ll write something for no reason other than to have something to say, and later I’ll get an amazing idea of how to connect it all together. Again, just walking through the world and seeing what I find that I want to show to others. It’s like I’ve got these dolls that I’m playing with, except that they talk to me and move on their own. Sometimes I give them a nudge or a drop them in a new setting, and then I record the simulation because of how fascinating I find it.

Remembering The Why Part 3: Amateur for Life

Of course, even when I was a kid I had dreams of being a famous writer, of finishing my books one day and being discovered and being one of those teen authors whom everyone is so astounded by. But then I started writing for more than one or two adoring fans, and going much, much darker and experimenting with different styles and elements, and things got hairy. Even though I was still proud of what I wrote, I think it was beyond my target audience, and it was a blow to my confidence.

Remembering The Why Part 2: The Greats, Big and Small

Actually, I LIVED for Twilight back then. I was stalled on one of them, I think it was Eclipse, and when my mom got it for me, I never put it down, and I was chomping at the bit for the next one. There are so many book series I’ve read that are like that. I just need more and more. I need to be in that world. I HAVE to know what’s going to happen next. I can’t put it down, and I’ll finish it in a few days. So even though Twilight gets a lot of haters, especially for spawning things like Fifty Shades and 365 days, the book has enough people who “get it” and like it for it to be successful.

Remembering The Why Part 1: Negative Feedback

Do you ever stop in the middle of a project and think: “What on earth am I doing here?” I get that a lot. Especially when I’ve been going round and round with a problem in my head and I don’t know where to turn. Especially when my self-esteem dips to below zero and I’m left wondering whether what I’m doing will really make a difference at all. But every now and then, I get this little nudge reminding me why I love writing and why I love books. Last, week, I got to have a nice long chat with some mentors from my church’s evangelism group, and I was left with that pilot light relit and the flames of my passion rekindled.

It’s so incredible how similar Marc and Michelle are to Ben and Lanie. I really think God put them into my life for a reason. I was in a bad mood (borderline anxiety) when I first met Michelle during my first official time at the evangelism meeting, but she was so loving and kind, explaining things to me and guiding me through. Still, though, I planned to go to a small group that involved sitting around the fire and getting warm, even though I felt the nudge to go with Michelle to serve outside one of the homeless shelters. But as I was waiting to leave with the group that would be warm and seated and singing songs, there was a call specifically for volunteers to go with Michelle’s group – and I knew I couldn’t ignore it. And ever since, it’s been an incredible journey, even if it’s frightening sometimes.

They’re Choking

“Are you saying you want to die?” Her voice was even, without any judgment, but her fingers tightened against his head.

“Yes. No. Sometimes. I just don’t want to feel this anymore. I do belong with those men. And that kills me. I think the same way that they do. That I deserve to be angry. That everything that happened is your fault, and that I was just some sort of victim of circumstance. That any time I thought about hurting you or almost did hurt you, that it was just natural, that it’s better that I think about it, because that’s what’s keeping me from doing it.

Graceful Jake McGuinness

So i discovered a thing. My original intention was to find one of those things where you can make a robot read a bunch of examples and then generate it’s own version of the work, and I ended up finding Plot Generator. It’s basically mad libs, where you put in a bunch of information and then it gives you a story. It can be really funny because even though you’ll be putting in info thinking it will be used one way, it ends up being completely different.

The More The Merrier

“Do you believe that he brings people together for a reason? I keep thinking I might be deluding myself that I can be there for her and Dre. How can someone like me be what they need? But I can’t leave.”

“Why do you want to leave?”

“Because I don’t deserve them. Not even a little.”

He wasn’t sure what Rowan saw in his face, because he didn’t even know that he was about to cry until she scooted over to him, and wrapped him in a hug. For a moment, he was stunned, but then he brought his hands up, and hugged her back, wrapped up in her floral, old-lady perfume. Though he was at least three times her size, he felt so small, once again.

Safe In His Arms Again

Rising gracefully, he eased the guitar to hang across his back. He was wearing a white shirt, which usually dimmed the intensity of his eyes, but today he looked so happy that nothing could erase their gleam. They were like fiery diamonds. “I’m so glad you’re alive,” he said, sitting on the bed and leaning over to kiss her.

She caressed the soft bristles of his face, then twined her fingers in his silky waves. They were longer, curling at the ends and brushing the back of his neck. His skin smelled like hibiscus, and his breath tasted like cinnamon. She sighed into his familiar warmth.

“How long have I been out?”

Just a Small Neurotic Break

Lanie was clearly going through some sort of mental breakdown. And oh, was it something to behold. The violent dance of death was beautiful. Terrifying. And strangely intimate. Jealousy prodded Ben, in the same place where she’d poked her stick into his belly. It wasn’t that he wanted to be in Jake’s place right then. But just to share that closeness with her. To have her attention fully on him, acutely aware of every inch of his body and every move he made. Jake and Lanie seemed to read each other’s minds.

Toeing the Line

“Hang the children!” snapped Wallstead unapologetically. “Do you think I’m blind? That I was born yesterday? I’ll have you know that I’m nearly twice your age, missy. I swear by our Lord above, I’ve been healing people since longer than you’ve been alive. If there’s deference to be shown, it’s to me.”

“Nurse Wallstead – ”

She crossed her arms. “By God, if you were my daughter – ”

“I’d be dead, then, wouldn’t I?”

Silence. The words were out before Lanie could stop them. They were faster than the hand she slapped over her mouth. Faster than the iron bars that slammed down over Emma Wallstead’s face. Ben’s eyes nearly popped out of his head as he looked between them in horror.

“Lanie!” he gasped, a delayed reaction.

“I – I’m sorry, Emma.”

And she fled.