#strongwomen #writer #author #entrepreneur #blog #blogger #canadian #alberta #kingdom #faith #godisgood #Jesuschrist #journal #personal #mentalhealth #parenting #mom #mompreneur #empathy #suicideprevention #depression #anxiety #borderline #truth

When the light breaks


Hey there,

I’m trying to remember that my SAD is going into full swing, and that’s probably one of the main reasons why things have been so hard lately. I’m trying to take things one day at a time, as always, but those days are getting more and more difficult to bear. The urge to burrow under and not come out for a while grows, as well.

The nights are the worst. Especially after leaving a social gathering. Last night church was amazing, and I think I connected with some amazing new people, but I also stayed out way too late and caused one of those negative feedback loops where I ended up tripping that stress wire that doesn’t let me go to bed. So I walked around the city, because I couldn’t go home to face the loneliness there. I ended up in the bad part of town by accident, and got followed and harassed. I thought at one point that two guys were gearing up to jump me when I wouldn’t go with them, but I walked away unscathed.

Really, it is beautiful here, and it’s generally quiet at night during the week. But I can’t get rid of this pressure in my chest, a pressure that makes it hard to breathe. It’s that sticky tar that I was telling you about, the one that is so hard to remove by myself. I wish I was stronger. I wish I was better able to walk that tightrope, where an evening breeze can knock me over. If I run across it full tilt, I’m usually fine, but, I can’t do that forever, and when I stop, I fall off.

Coming up for air feels so sweet. Those times when my brain is quiet, and there’s nothing. Not numb, just, quiet. Those are the times when it feels like things will be okay. Everything else goes back under the surface for a while, and the bad stuff goes back in the box. Everything is clear. I feel like I’m clinging to a raft in the middle of the ocean with the sun shining down on me. So peaceful.

Thanks for Stopping by!

I hope you liked what you saw. What did you think of the topic? Leave a comment and start a discussion with your thoughts! Don’t forget to like and share with your best friends, mortal enemies, and everyone in between. Come back later to see if your icon appears in my subscriber cloud! Even better, validate my work by leaving a tip to support this (not actually) starving author. You can also support my company, Planet Hope Christian Enterprising, by donating to our crowdfunds on at GoFundMe and FundRazr down below. We are a non-profit providing pay-what-you-can creative and communication services to individuals and organizations – including you! By donating, you can help us reach our goal to provide top-rate creative and support services to charities and others who would like our help. But we can’t do it without your support, so even if you can’t give financially, please like, share, subscribe, and comment. Many blessings to you today and every day.

Never miss a post!

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him.”
~ Romans 15:13


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s