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If I had a Billion Dollars
Today I woke up very tired. I’m pretty exhausted from my late-night adventure the other day. Maybe it’s because I’m getting old, but I can’t quite bounce back the way that I used to. Especially with my swiss cheese for brains.
So I laid in bed and thought about what I would do if I had a billion dollars. It was a pretty fun thought experiment. I really hope I do become wealthy one day, because there’s so many things that I want to do in life that require a lot of money. A million can be a good start if you’re very careful, but let’s be honest, it won’t go very far in today’s economy. No, the billion is the new million, for sure.
If I wasn’t a reckless idiot, I’d give ten percent away to charity. I’d take a few days while my billions collect interest in the bank to come up with a really good list of every organization that’s ever helped me, and then I’d divided it up based on how much they mean to me. I’d give ten percent to my son’s family on both sides, and hire someone to help advise them if they so choose. The biggest share would go to my son and his dad, and my parents.
Then I’d put ten percent into my own non-profit, so that we can have a good start on achieving the goals that I have for it. Finally being able to get an office and hire people instead of being broke and reliant on volunteers all the time. That would be incredible.
I’d invest ten or fifteen percent into my tech start-ups and other projects that would help make the world a cleaner, peaceful, and more affordable place to live in. I’d see how much it would cost to buy that 200,000 square kilometre chunk in the NWT that I’ve been eyeing for developing my utopia. Honestly, it’s the size of South Dakota, and maybe I could incorporate it as it’s own country, and name myself queen. A gorgeous little carbon sink to live in while the rest of the world burns, floods, blows away, and gets attacked by earthquakes.
So, that’s thirty percent given away and ten to fifteen percent invested into my personal projects. So let’s say that’s forty-five percent. That leaves me with five-hundred-fifty million left. I’d pay down my student loans, which would be pretty negligible at that point, and buy a couple of decent EVs, and a new house. Let’s say total 1 million. I’d hire a staff of personal assistants, chefs, cleaners, and whatnot to maintain the grounds, or whatever rich people do to make sure they don’t have to do anything. Honestly, I want to do that now, because I’m so tired and done. Let’s say that I use 5 percent to buy stuff that I need or want and get started with some staff, so 50 million. Some of that stuff, like houses and cars, will be investments. Some of the key staff will be a team of investors who will be tasked with making my money grow, so that I can continue using my profits in this way. Invest about 50 percent, give away 45, and live off of 5. I’m not sure if this is how real millionaires do it to keep things growing, but I think this would be pretty decent. I’d keep working on my books and other content creation, travel the world with my nonprofits rescuing people from this climate disaster, and try to bring more public attention and support to the issues that I care about. And maybe I’ll die having left a permanent impact that will give my son a better chance on this hellscape of a planet.
Now, the nice thing is, I know that I can probably start practicing by doing some of this right now. Obviously, at the moment, my living expenses take up most of my paycheck. But when I’m done paying off my rent, phone, and some of my student loans, what will I do with the extra? Let’s say one day I have even $100 left over at the end of the month. Even if it would be shameful to give my key family members only a couple of dollars, could I put it away in a GIC that I’ll give to them later? And keep adding to it every month? Could I still give ten dollars per month to my church? Could I invest a $50 in one of those apps that make it easier to invest? Could I find someone who might be willing to help me out for a few hours a month, just to get started?
I’ve made some terrible decisions with my money lately. I wish I could go back and do things smarter, and invest and put money away instead of blowing it on pizza and clothes and other random things that I really didn’t need at the time. Oh, and banking over draft fees. Hundreds of dollars, even from a few days ago. Let’s face it, when it comes to money, none of us were really trained to make it grow. We’re trained to pick up more shifts or find a better job, but not really what to do with the money once we have it. Right now I’ve got less than $200 in liquid assets to my name. I wonder if this could be a new beginning.
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“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him.”
~ Romans 15:13