#97 Nobody Knows

"What more can we do for her?
Do you think she can be saved?" 
"I don't know, but one things for sure
I've never seen someone so brave." 
"What if we try something different?
Maybe new meds, or a shrink?"
"No, that won't do any good. 
Radiation's next, I think." 

Nobody knows I'm not sleeping. 
Nobody knows I can hear. 
Nobody knows that I'm trembling 
Trying to shake off my fear. 
The wind joins the song of the piano
The rain shields me from the world
On a broken path, I'd journeyed fast
Grew up, and stopped being a girl. 

But the music won't drown out the voices 
Floating up from below
I can hear them discussing the options, deciding 
A fate that nobody knows. 
I hardly have the strength to press the keys
All I can do is sit here and stare. 
I don't feel brave, I can't be saved
But it's a fact that they cannot bear.  

I'm fighting a silent enemy 
But whether I'll win, I don't have a clue 
I'm on my own, I'm all alone
Because nobody knows what to do. 
I turn around when I hear a sound. 
There they are. What a hopeless sight. 
I try to stand, but they make me sit down. 
I'll need all of my strength, tonight.  

"The results are in. I'm sorry, dear.
We've double-checked to make sure
We've tried so hard, we've done all we can
There simply isn't a cure."
I'd known it was coming. But still, it's a shock.
I collapse like I'm already dead. 
I know no more, and when I wake up
I'm back in that hospital bed. 

I was young. I was healthy!
I'd done all I should. How can this be so?
I know I'm not special, but still, why me? 
Why doesn't anyone know? 
"These things just happen. Sometimes there's no reason."
But it shouldn't have happened to me
I really don't care that life isn't fair. 
I want to know why this had to be. 

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“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him.”
~ Romans 15:13

4 Comments

  1. Lidi

    When i wrote this poem, all those years ago in middle school, I had this notion that all problems could be solved with a miracle. I’ve done a lot of editing in this poem, and the last stanza I came up with just now. Instead of a miraculous cure, the character just has to struggle with the hopeless unfairness of it all, because a lot of people never do get a miraculous fix for their problems. This goes out to some friends of mine who’ve recently had to deal with all kinds of tragedy, all at once, including cancer. I’m sorry that this sucks.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. AB

      The one thought that came to my mind while reading this was cancer. I’ve seen my friends and family deal with it and somewhere down the line, all everyone would wish for is a miracle. I get the feeling you’re trying to convey here. We’ve all felt it, the helplessness, and I’m glad you wrote about it. You’re portrayal of this character, of this feeling, is so perfect. Wish you the best! Lots of love ❤❤

      Liked by 1 person

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