When the Answer Is No

There you lie, little roses, among the thorns 
Condemned, and yet saved, from being born
Little matching dolls, all in a row,
Just out of reach, where I watch you grow.

It’s not what I wanted, but what could I do?
It didn’t matter how much I wanted you
Each wingless angel with a crushed halo 
Just out of reach, beyond the window.

Little seeds, once sprouting in my womb
Now little corpses in dark, loamy tombs.
I won’t dream of the life you won’t know,
Just out of reach, in the soil below. 

You can fast, repent, plead, cry, and pray;
He’s already decided what He’ll do and say.
There’s nowhere to turn when His answer is no,
Just out of reach, a bone He won’t throw. 

And even the one He allowed me to keep 
Is a bright, flashing dream when I cannot sleep 
The dream will not wait, will not stop, will not slow
Just out of reach! Just a glint! Just a glow!

Some live a century. Others? Born for the grave. 
Just when is a life worth it to Him to save? 
He yanks us around, here and there, to and fro.
Just out of reach, enjoying the show. 

If there is no God, what should I believe?
Are you nothing now? Is there nothing to grieve?
He made you, then took you, that impulsive foe.
Just out of reach. Where He knows I won’t go. 

#strongwomen #writer #author #entrepreneur #blog #blogger #canadian #alberta #poetry #poem #abortion #loss

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“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him.”
~ Romans 15:13

7 Comments

  1. witchbutterfly

    This was so well written and it’s just so beautiful…I can’t even describe what I felt reading it. Angst, sadness, disbelief, anger…and hopelessness, the kind that just leaves you empty and feeling numb, after you hoped for too much.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lidi

      Thank you. I think it’s something that a lot of people can identify with. I personally have never suffered a miscarriage or the loss of a child, but just thinking about it makes me so sad, and my heart goes out to those that do. It can be so hard to trust God sometimes.

      Like

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