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Unfinished

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Tag: sexualassault

Me Too. But Not You.

#strongwomen #writer #author #entrepreneur #blog #blogger #canadian #alberta #kingdom #faith #metoo #sexualassault #predators Lately, I’ve been feeling angrier and angrier. … More

alberta, assault, author, blog, blogger, canadian, harassment, metoo, predators, sexualassault

I sought the Lord, and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears.

Psalm 34:4

Find what you’re looking for

Sometimes I put a little effort in, for no reason whatsoever. I’m just going to have to change later but whatever. Did anyone need this reminder today? I don’t know if @youversion does themes for these verses, or if God is trying to get my attention. But an avalanche of fear comes for me each time I remember all that needs to be done in the day. All the people’s who are counting on me and all the dreams I want to make progress on. The avalanche buries me and sometimes I’m unable to get myself out for days, weeks, or sometimes months. Only God can get me out, but I’m starting to realize he’s the only one who can catch it all before it stifles me. I’m trying to learn to put one foot in front of the other, one step at a time, but as someone who likes to try and outrun the avalanche, it’s difficult. I’m sure you know what I’m going to say to this, probably the same thing you’re thinking: “Easier said than done.” This is all fine and good if you’re just worried about a few basic things, but if you have major, debilitating, clinical depression or anxiety, how can you even begin to articulate your worries, let alone cast them? If you don’t even believe God can help you, what’s the point? Fear (I.e respect, deference) is a powerful thing. Lately I’ve been fearing my pathological critic and what he tries to tell me about the future, what others are thinking, and what I’m worth. Because I fear him and the ways he can tear me down, I listen to him and respect him. And yet God is so much more powerful. What’s more, the things He tells me to do are actually good for me, my relationships, and my future. So as I claw my way up from the despair that’s overtaken me lately, I’m trying to remember who the real enemy is. Which romance trope do you prefer - enemies to lovers or the instant lovers? I’m kind of a fan of the perpetual frenemies, probably because I’m a chaos queen. It can be quite difficult to not be afraid, to be at peace. Sometimes you have a dream so sweet and lovely that the thought of it terrifies you for how much you want it, and it seems there’s nothing else to do but strive and obsess, instead of trusting God and resting. Right now the fruits of my life are fatigue, unreliability, judgment, and self-recrimination. What about you? I’m starting to realize just how easy it is to lay back in the weeds instead of dealing with them every day. When someone compliments you, what is your first reaction? Sometimes I wake up in the morning feeling okay, forgetting the storm in my head, but by the end of the day, I’m like, “Who am I kidding?” I had two people telling me today that I was beautiful, but my first reaction is to not believe it. “You wouldn’t think that if you really knew me. Everyone who knows the real me knows that’s not true.” I still feel fat and icky, like a bowling ball on stick legs. Old, used up and worn out like this yellow shirt I’ve had for years. Like my best days are behind me. Scratched up with stretch marks that make my skin look 100 years old. Maybe your self-esteem and confidence has has been beaten down to the point where you can’t even be bothered to sort the truth from the lies. So how do you usually cope? Alright this picture doesn’t do justice to how delicious this meal is. I have made it before but this is the more evolved form. Chana masala with EXTRA brown sugar, and of course coconut. Added lettuce that I needed to get rid of. The other day I went to a small grocery store to get soy milk. They didn’t have any so I got mad and bought canned coconut milk and pita bread instead, and man, those things together are 🔥. Sweet and spicy, with that chickpea crunch. The coconut milk mixed with the rest to make an amazing sauce that soaked the pita bread. If I open a restaurant this will be my signature dish. 12/10. Would eat it every meal every day for the rest of my life if it hasn’t take four hours to make.
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