Empowering people to help each other thrive
“No!” she bellowed, as loud as her destroyed voice would allow. “For once in my life, save someone I care about! What good are you, if you just let us die without caring? Save him!”
She closes her eyes. She deserves it. She doesn’t have that moment of wanting to be saved. She’s been fighting for so long. Too long. The fighting is just too much.
But…Ben.
Thoughts shatter discordantly around her in an endless cacophony. She’s broken protocol. She shouldn’t have taken this on by herself. And now she’s going to die. Quite suddenly, quite unexpectedly unable to speak, unable to move because of the concrete weight of him. Two minutes ago, she’d just been looking for a snack. Now, the end.
She closes her eyes. She deserves it. She doesn’t have that moment of wanting to be saved. She’s been fighting for so long. Too long. The fighting is just too much.
But…Ben.
“Are you saying you want to die?” Her voice was even, without any judgment, but her fingers tightened against his head.
“Yes. No. Sometimes. I just don’t want to feel this anymore. I do belong with those men. And that kills me. I think the same way that they do. That I deserve to be angry. That everything that happened is your fault, and that I was just some sort of victim of circumstance. That any time I thought about hurting you or almost did hurt you, that it was just natural, that it’s better that I think about it, because that’s what’s keeping me from doing it.
That was it – the not enough. It was hazardous for him. As much as he enjoyed the thrill of triumphing over his temptations, there were times when he was too close to the edge, past the point of thrill and almost unable to come back. To the point where the craving nearly closed over his head and drowned him.
That was it – the not enough. It was hazardous for him. As much as he enjoyed the thrill of triumphing over his temptations, there were times when he was too close to the edge, past the point of thrill and almost unable to come back. To the point where the craving nearly closed over his head and drowned him.
Lidi 