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The glade was warm. He held her as they watched the turquoise water babbling over the clear, rainbow rocks. She was silent. Still. At first, she thought she felt calm, but then realized she was just…spent. Empty. There was nothing left.
A warm breeze sighed over her face. “Lex. You’re back.”
The Voice. The one she couldn’t seem to get rid of, no matter how far she tried to run, or where she tried to hide. She would have to try harder, later, but for now, she was just glad not to be alone. Safe in his arms. A temporary truce.
Her dress was as white as lilies, the skirt made of cloudlike layers that billowed around her. The short train brushed the grass like snow, and the bodice framed her slender body like an embrace. The puffy sleeves capped her shoulders like gauze, and the intricate pattern of flowers and beads along the low neckline weighed on her skin. She could almost imagine Ben’s hands as he played with them, that mischievous, wondrous smile making his eyes glitter like the river in front of her.
“I never did tell him.” She splashed her toes gently in the silky water. It felt deliciously cool and soothingly warm at the same time. “I was planning to, at the vow renewal. I know that he’s been waiting to hear it from me for a long time.”
Patting her, he brought his other arm around her to pull her even closer. “What about that song? I let him stay so you could sing it with him.”
“That wasn’t real, though. I hallucinated that when my heart stopped.” She wasn’t sure she believed it. But she had to. The alternative was just…impossible. And horrifying. For her, anyway.
“So, wouldn’t that mean you’re hallucinating now? Isn’t it pointless to ask me to do anything?”
She played with the diamond grass near her feet. It felt a little like cotton candy and smelled like citrus. “Can you please tell him? And then leave me alone? Please don’t talk to me anymore.”
“Why don’t you tell him yourself, when you come home?”
She shook her head. “Please. That’s not the path I’m on, and you know it. If this is real. But just in case it is, can you do this one thing for me?” Kissing the top of her head, he smiled ruefully down at her before he left. “He already knows
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We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect.
― Anais Nin
Lidi 