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Part One: the Poet’s Vendetta
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.
They say God created the heavens and the earth because He was so full of love that it just overflowed on canvas that was the empty universe, like a painter expressing himself by painting.
I don’t read the Bible often, and I don’t go to church that much. but I really love Bible studies. I make a point of going to a different one every week. An impromptu drop-in at the local church for an hour-long study isn’t uncommon after international affairs. I always give a generous donation to show my appreciation. It amazes me that no matter how different they are (as in, just because they’re both fruit, an apple and an orange are totally not the same), the churches all have basically the same message. It was through these Bible studies that I grasped a more concrete understanding of the meaning of love. Real, unconditional love.
If you want love, you have to find it. And then really fight for it. Because if you don’t, you’re going to lose it. What makes me want to cry is that God is up there, with all this love just waiting to find a home, and nobody really seems to want it. at one point I didn’t really want it. If the world is so far gone that we don’t even really want love anymore, what kind of a world is this?
I am certainly blessed to have been given someone to share God’s and my love with. It is a miracle above all other miracles in my life that I have him. It’s even better than the miracle of my coming back to life. Of course, he disagrees, but that’s just the kind of man he is. I love him so much it hurts, and that’s not just a soppy expression. Its like the opposite of heartache. Isn’t it interesting how two people can find each other against all odds and fit so perfectly together? Out of billions? Honestly, what are the chances that you’ll meet your one-and-only at the gas station or on a bus? To me it could not be chance, or else there would be no more happy endings for anyone but the lucky ones. I think it could only be because of God. Just like Adam and Eve: God saw Adam needed a soul mate and so He gave him one. I don’t see what luck has to do with it.
But after the death of my brother, Adam, this story begins in a time in my life when I didn’t believe in God as much as I used to. I wasn’t mad at Him. But everything that had to do with Him reminded me of Adam, His little prodigy on earth. No one but God could’ve given me such a beautiful brother to enjoy the few short years he was with us; no one but the Devil could’ve taken him away. But I have no doubt in my mind that he is up there watching me now.
Isn’t it funny how anything can change at the blink of an eye (or the roll of a dice), how one moment in time can define the rest of your life? How you can look back and say, “If just this one thing had gone differently, I wouldn’t be here today”?
Safe in the arms of my one true love, I snuggle closer to whisper in his ear. “Isn’t it funny how everything seems to be balanced on the point of a knife?”
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~ Romans 15:13
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