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Why, hello there.
Today is the first day of the rest of my life. or at least that’s what the dramatic voice over in my head is telling me. If I’m being honest, I’ve been here before. After a massive or lengthy depressive episode, I emerge with all sorts of renewed strength and resolve that this time things are going to be different. It’s like those episodes are some sort of pressure release that helps me cleanse from all the stuff that’s holding me down.
I think a lot of people would say that probably means I just need a break. I agree. So this last week and a half I took one. I did absolutely nothing. I laid in bed all day, watching YouTube and Netflix. I barely even cooked for myself. I didn’t work on my book or my business. I didn’t pray or read my Bible. I barely talked to anyone. I definitely didn’t journal. It was a pretty interesting experience because I kept telling myself I was on sabbatical, not that I was slacking off or being lazy or depressed. Honestly it was probably a combination of the two. I definitely had some moments of internal anguish and a few panic attacks. I was down on myself. But more than anything I’m proud of myself for going to bed pretty consistently every single night, which made a huge difference.
For the first few days I was exhausted all the time, and I couldndo anything without needing to take a nap. I was sleeping 9 or 10 hours a night and still needing two or three naps in the day. I had to lay down to watch my stuff. But after a while I was able to cut down my naps, start cooking again. I even did some laundry and got out of my pyjamas a couple of times.
So now my vacation is done and I have to get ready to go back to the city for my new job that is starting tomorrow. I have a goal to create a routine that’s is going to help me feel balanced and fulfilled, while making space for me to deal with my mental anguish without letting it interfere with my functioning..
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“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him.”
~ Romans 15:13
Unfinished 
Nice one!.
That is what I think
1. Another day goes by and I’m stronger because of this break. I know I can handle anything.
2. Keep up the great work! You’re an inspiration to all of us!
3. Amazing how much better I feel after taking a break. Thanks for giving me the strength to start again!
4. This is exactly what I need. A break from the stress of life and all the negativity that comes with it.
5. fantastic post! I need one too!
6. This post made my day! Thank you so much for sharing.
Ely
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Hi Ely! I’m so glad you connected with my writing today. Starting again is one of the hardest things we can do. But you’ve got this! I believe in you!
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